The Inner Workings of an Artificial Family

Wow! Fancy scientific sounding title! Too bad it is not really scientific. I could have called this "The Inner Workings of a Family", but I am not talking about a biological family so I put artificial. Anyway, enough analyzing my title.

In my high school band, the year is always ended with a senior concert. It is LONG night full of music, awards, solos, hugs, speeches, and many tears. This is because after four plus years of being together in something much bigger than the self it is time to say goodbye and make way for younger ones to receive the wonderful experience of being in this band.

 As of last night I have experienced this from three different perspectives: Being left behind by seniors, leaving behind those younger than me, and now observing it as a whole. It is a crazy concept to see where on the spectrum each of those perspectives lie. As a younger band member watching those before you leave is difficult and gets worse with each year as you get closer to people and they leave. Once you are the one doing the leaving you get mixed reactions, some are tired and ready to go. Some of the seniors have found peace and accept it, others (and these seem to be the ones with the most passion and connection with the group) feel the very pain of being ripped away by time, and it shows in their faces and tears. Of all my experiences of this concert this had to be the weirdest. Sure, knowing I would never return was pretty weird, but to look on the sadness and remember it, but not quite understand it all for the first time felt so strange. I will not say I was not sad, I do not think there will ever come a day that I do not miss being a part of that band.

 But after the sort of out-of-place strange feelings of last night I did a lot of thinking. I came up with some conclusions about the band that I already knew to be true:
We are a family and every single member always will be, it is like in a biological family, just because someone has moved away or even passed on does not make them any less a member.
The cycle of old family members moving on to other places and new ones coming in is always going, and never gets easier. This cycle is just eventually accepted after a member experiences being a new member of the family, living within the family and moving on. It is the last step where I think they really get it, the cycle is no longer surreal to them.
Families really do take care of one another and this is not the same. You can see it in the condolences given to each other last night. This fact really holds this group together at times. After older members leave, younger members step up to take care of those the older members cannot. I truly saw this first hand. As a senior last year my two little sisters where freshman, new to this band and just beginning their experience. They were sad when I left, but being my sisters knew that this was not the end at all. They seemed much sadder this year, at first this puzzled me but when I realized what had happened I was so thankful. This next senior class stepped in and took care of my little sisters when I could not. Being away at school I could not be there any time they needed someone to talk to, or someone to laugh with. But I owe a thank you to so many members of this senior class for being what I could not for them. It is so obvious how much love you have shown my sisters because it reflects back through how much they obviously love you all.

This is the comforting fact about families, as the cycle goes on, everyone is still cared for, and caring for others, this is a cycle within itself. With out this passing of care, we would not be a family, and if we were not a family, no one would be cared for. Above all else, that is what a family must remember and strive to do to keep a legacy going.

Writing

Aha! The vicious cycle continues.

Although, I just turned in my last paper and only have one final left until summer, meaning I will have much more free time. Now if only that means much more inspiration.

I have not written lately as finals, performances, and many other time-consuming activities have been upon me. I cannot blame my lack of posts just on time constraints, but I also just have not had much to write about. My mind has been on my work, the pile-up of work, the stress of work, when I am going to do my work, when I will have time to think about when I am going to do my work etc. I would bet that is not what any readers would want to hear about here.

As I said, I just turned in my last paper. This paper was a "Final" Teaching Philosophy for my Education 1600 class. I have written many papers in the last week, that I have procrastinated and had to force myself to write, but this one came easy. I do not have any exams today and I could have easily slept in, but I got myself out of bed at 9:00am and flew right through that paper without a bit of writers block. This seems like an obvious observation, but when I am writing about something I love, I can write and write for hours without delay, and I love to write about it. The more passion I have for something the easier it is to write about. (That must've been why my Heart of Darkness essay took me so long yesterday!).

Writing about my personal thoughts on teaching as a future teacher gets me so excited about my future. Even now, after I have finished and submitted the assignment, I can still feel the passion and excitement flowing from me. I feel as though I could discuss educational philosophy for hours. I won't do that though, I have other assignments to complete. But I just felt the need to share...

I am pumped and ready to prepare to be a teacher, and even more passionate about being one, so look out future students, I am coming and I am coming with a ***fire within me.

***(Ha! Musical lyric plug!)