It happened, it actually happened... The 20 consecutive year Legacy of the Pickerington High School Marching Tiger Band's Superior (I) Ratings at OMEA State Marching Band Finals has ended, and I am part of the class responsible. I thought we played and marched straight from our hearts. I know I tried and others who care so much about this program did as well. If that’s what we did, then what happened? Were there others I didn't notice who really don't care and just did what they had to. I don't know what it was, but it can't be changed back. We have our II and that’s all I know. The senior class did not deserve this at all. Mr. Joy and Mr. Sewell don't deserve this. I feel like I played a part in letting them all down. It is the worst feeling in the entire world. What I can do about it? Nothing. I can continue to work hard, but there will always be this II. Mr. Sewell is so proud of his legacy and we had to take that away from him.
I walked up the bleachers at the end of that last practice to give Mr. Joy the cookie's I'd made. He pulled me aside and said, "I think that went really well. I think we can do this!" I nodded in agreement. At that point in time I really did agree. I was worried but I thought we could actually pull of getting a one. Once we got to Dayton I was ready to go. We got off the bus and got ready to perform. By the time we were suited up in white pants, purple jacket hats and plumes ready to warm up the nerves set in. I still had a hope burning inside me, but there were definitely nerves. We warmed up with just Mr. Joy. Mr. Sewell was having chest pains and once again was not able to be with us in this contest. At the end of warm up Mr. Joy told us how proud he was of us and let us know that he believed in us. Haley said a beautiful and uplifting prayer and then we were off. I could hear the sounds of the band before us as we neared the stadium. It was soon our turn.
Before I knew it, we were on the field and turned around ready to perform. Amazing Grace filled my ears lungs and heart. I really believed we could do this. We all cared so much about the band and Mr. Sewell. We raced through the songs with what I believed to be few mistakes. We were off the field getting dinner and everyone was asking each other, "how do you think we did?” I had thought we did well. Better than I expected. I knew it wasn't as spectacular as previous years but we still did well. I still had hope.
We sat in the stands waiting for the scores and watching other bands. After a short judges break, we suddenly heard a voice on the loudspeaker, "Pickerington Central Marching Band with _____ Members," and a pause. "Pickerington Central your overall band rating is........" ...In this moment here I was so incredibly worried. I didn't know what I'd do. I just wanted that one. For the band. For Mr. Sewell... "TWO". There was the most silent moment I had ever experienced in my entire lifetime and all I could manage was a pained gasping expression with a single tear rolling down my cheek. My best friend attempted to comfort me. Mr. Joy also turned around giving me a sympathetic hand pat. All I could think was, " No, no, no, no, no, this can't be happening.." Then the other thoughts began to run through my head, "The seniors are probably so upset. What will we do now? Who's going to tell Mr. Sewell?" I turned to look at the crowd of purple behind me. The expressions on everyone's faces illustrated the feeling rushing through every last one of us sitting there. It was the saddest moment I could've imagined. I couldn't bear to look to the left of me, because there were the very seniors who claimed they would be upset and who I had been somewhat close to. I sat there applauding the rest of the bands scores. Most of them being II's but when the announcer would say, "...Your overall band rating is....ONE!" I couldn't help but let a few more tears fall down onto the lap of my white pants. I wanted those words to be said after our name. Why couldn't that be us? When the contest was over, we all tried to get up and leave but Mr. Joy stopped us. He told us he was proud and we did well. Maybe he was proud, but I know he was hurting. There is no way that all of us were hurting and he was not. I think everyone was upset one way or the other. The walk back to busses was awful. I finally let it all out, sobbing uncontrollably making a fool of myself... A few people attempted to comfort me with pats on the back and kind words followed by hugs. I apologized to a few seniors. Whether they were upset or not, I felt it necessary...
I don't understand why. I don't understand why I take it so badly and get so upset. Is there something wrong with me? Is it because I care too much? Should I not take it so seriously...? I feel like our band would fall apart if everyone decided to take it less seriously and we stopped caring. Look how it has already affected us...
Now what I'm thinking is, where do we go from here? Yes, I know you're going to say, "Move on" but what about the Legacy. It’s gone. It'll take another 20 years to rebuild it. We do have so much to look forward to, and I think I can move past this. But it hurts and I feel that this memory will always hurt. One day later and I still cried when people began to talk about it and I tried to tell my self to stop caring but that just upset me more. I think that I take it too seriously some times, but when I try to tell my self to not care so much and move on I think about all the people who don't care. I feel like less and less people have cared this year. I put my heart and all into band and the people who don't care take it and rip it to pieces. It’s because they're hurting the band and hurting Sewell and Joy... I can't stand it. I knew that we couldn't just continue on forever getting ones. There would have to be a day that we received a II. I had just hoped with all my heart that I would never have to see that day come in my high school career.
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