Saturday, July 31, 2010
Lost
Sometimes I can be in the most familiar of places and still feel completely lost. Even if I'm surrounded people I know I can't always find exactly where I belong anymore. It used to be quite obvious, I knew exactly who I would go to in a crowd of people. The people I hung out with, had a good time around and were my true friends. Its not that I don't like them anymore. Absolutely not! i just feel as though everything is mixed up and turned around. Everything has drifted apart and I'm left standing in the middle same as I used to be, but not surrounded by close friends. Why or how this happened I don't exactly know. I've lost touch with everyone. Maybe I just need to get out there, return to my old friends or make new and stop my belly-aching... I may have forgotten how.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Inconvenience
Everytime I think to write or have something to say, it is when i don't have time to write or should be doing something else. I have too many deep but invonvenient thoughts... I want to go to sleep right now but just feel the need to write things down and its been a while so I can't keep pushing these back:
People of my age have become so superficial and predictable. I sit at the pool tanning and can hear conversations around me and everything said is just boring and typical. I feel like I've heard it all before. Lets break the mold...
Somedays I just wish I could fall in love and it would be as simple as it was to write that down. I love musicals and almost every one has a wonderful love story. Even the sad ones make me wish I was in love.. I know its stupid because I'm in high school and relationships are absolutely pointless at my age but the idea just sounds so wonderful...
How is it that the people with one bad trait often have others. The bad traits aren't spread out through people, one person just happens to be arrogent, rude, selfish, concieted and terrible all at once... It sucks when you have to deal with that one person for months on end....
That is all.
People of my age have become so superficial and predictable. I sit at the pool tanning and can hear conversations around me and everything said is just boring and typical. I feel like I've heard it all before. Lets break the mold...
Somedays I just wish I could fall in love and it would be as simple as it was to write that down. I love musicals and almost every one has a wonderful love story. Even the sad ones make me wish I was in love.. I know its stupid because I'm in high school and relationships are absolutely pointless at my age but the idea just sounds so wonderful...
How is it that the people with one bad trait often have others. The bad traits aren't spread out through people, one person just happens to be arrogent, rude, selfish, concieted and terrible all at once... It sucks when you have to deal with that one person for months on end....
That is all.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Short Messages
#1 - I miss you, alot. But you don't even care, and that hurts. It has been a while and I still think about you all of the time... It sucks.
#2 - What made you decide to come out of hiding and start talking to me again? I hope you realize things didn't work out the first time and probably won't this time either, but whatever floats your boat
#3 - I miss who you used to be and the friendship we had. I wish we could hang out more. Hopefully we will, we need to. You've changed alot and we've changed apart. Regardless of who we are now, I still want you as a friend, same as I always have.
#4 - I know we talk alot, both fun and serious. I hope you understand that it is just friendship and nothing more. I like you, just not like that. It would be too awkward. I'm sorry.
#2 - What made you decide to come out of hiding and start talking to me again? I hope you realize things didn't work out the first time and probably won't this time either, but whatever floats your boat
#3 - I miss who you used to be and the friendship we had. I wish we could hang out more. Hopefully we will, we need to. You've changed alot and we've changed apart. Regardless of who we are now, I still want you as a friend, same as I always have.
#4 - I know we talk alot, both fun and serious. I hope you understand that it is just friendship and nothing more. I like you, just not like that. It would be too awkward. I'm sorry.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Some Summer Thoughts
We're well into the summer months now. Plenty of heat, sun, band and my usual thinking. I thought I'd have some list format fun, mostly due to my lack of orginization in my thoughts right now.
1. This college hunt is thrilling! I'm freaking out even though the choice is far from this time. I'm excited for what lies ahead in the next few years. Colleges do a fantastic job of advertising themselves and this doesn't make my choice any easier but it definately gets me less afraid of the college experience.
2. The whole idea of friends has been rearranged, transformed and turned completely around. My sisters have now entered high school and I've found myself hanging out with them and their younger friends more often. As I've spent lots of time in meetings with the other field commanders, I've become closer to them as well. Those are the good friend transformations, of course there is a yin for every yang... I feel as though I haven't been around my friends who'm I've called my 'group' for the first three years of high school. Some I still talk with and would hang out with soon as the chance is thrown at me, for others it has been made apparent to me that they feel negatively towards me.. I personally don't feel as though I've changed must, but they must think so... And then there is a friend who I fear sees our friendship through a different light, I wish I could just show them how I feel without hurting any feelings, but I also don't want to draw in any awkwardness of course.
3. I've developed this new love for musicals. I have no clue where it came from. Over the summer my sisters and I have watched many Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals and my mom has decided to start a collection for me to take to college, but picking up musicals on DVD whenever she's at Walmart or Target. She brought home Phantom of the Opera today :) I was so happy.
1. This college hunt is thrilling! I'm freaking out even though the choice is far from this time. I'm excited for what lies ahead in the next few years. Colleges do a fantastic job of advertising themselves and this doesn't make my choice any easier but it definately gets me less afraid of the college experience.
2. The whole idea of friends has been rearranged, transformed and turned completely around. My sisters have now entered high school and I've found myself hanging out with them and their younger friends more often. As I've spent lots of time in meetings with the other field commanders, I've become closer to them as well. Those are the good friend transformations, of course there is a yin for every yang... I feel as though I haven't been around my friends who'm I've called my 'group' for the first three years of high school. Some I still talk with and would hang out with soon as the chance is thrown at me, for others it has been made apparent to me that they feel negatively towards me.. I personally don't feel as though I've changed must, but they must think so... And then there is a friend who I fear sees our friendship through a different light, I wish I could just show them how I feel without hurting any feelings, but I also don't want to draw in any awkwardness of course.
3. I've developed this new love for musicals. I have no clue where it came from. Over the summer my sisters and I have watched many Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals and my mom has decided to start a collection for me to take to college, but picking up musicals on DVD whenever she's at Walmart or Target. She brought home Phantom of the Opera today :) I was so happy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)