List of Dreams

The other day in class (I know I should have been paying attention), I jotted down a list of things that I want. There were big things that are long term goals and simple things that would just be nice. It seems that some of them were inspired (thanks to Pinterest probably!) recently or are life goals that make me who I am. I figured I would post  a list of 10 of these things and explore the "whys" of each thing.

1. To be a band director.

2. To travel somewhere amazing.

3. To grow my hair out (and dye it something fun too!).

4. To go on an adventure.

5. To re-design my wardrobe.

6. To fall in love.

6.5. To get married.

7. To plan something big.

8. To partake in a new experience.

9. To laugh harder than I ever have.

10. To follow God with all my mind, body, soul, heart and life.

1. I want to be a band director. That is why I am studying music education. That is what drives me each and every day in my school work. I want to be a band director, because I love music and I love to teach, but most of all, I have found that a student's band director is someone who knows them more than most teachers and can be a personal and influential relationship for students, at a very critical point in their lives. Having the opportunity to help young musicians grow and be guidance in their lives is such a fulfilling idea to me. 

2.  This is a Pinterest inspired one for sure. Living in Ohio, there are a few exciting things to see, and I have visited other extraordinary sights such as New York City, Pasedena, Niagra Falls, beaches and caves. I really would love to travel to somewhere extremely foreign and different, where I could see something worth marveling at. Whether it be something God made, or blessed someone with the ability to make, I do not have a preference. I simply want to go somewhere once in a lifetime.

3. I have always had medium length or short hair. My hair is now the longest it has ever been, and I do not want to start that process over again. I really like the care-free look of long hair and seeing as I need to start looking professional in a few years, I would like to use this time to do more fun things with my hair. It'll be a nice change. I would also like to dye it in an ombre style. (Darker at roots and fades to a lighter color at tips). 

4. An adventure does not have to be some long grand thing. While that would be amazing, even an afternoon adventure would be nice. Life in a routine can get boring, and we all need to change it up sometimes with an adventure. Spontaneity is good for everyone! Whether it be getting lost during a car ride, a road trip, or a crazy night of fun; a little adventure is what I need!

5. Thank you Pinterest... There are times where I am not so sure of trends, but right now I LOVE the style that is in. With coral, pastels, and nude tones being the colors, and lots of flowing materials there are so many possibilities. I like the way I dress, but I want to spice it up some. I think it is time to try some new things. I do not even have to spend money to do so, I can simply try a new combination of what I already own. I also need to start thinking about dressing more professionally for jobs and student teaching; that leaves more new things to try and figure out.

6/6.5. I'm tackling these two together.. Okay, I am a girl, of course I want to fall in love. I watch sappy love story movies and of course I want to experience something like that. At the same time, I am a firm believer in REALITY and know that it will most likely, probably, 99.99999% NOT happen like it does in movies, but still. I do not believe I have ever been "in love" or truly loved anyone but friends and family. Now I put falling in love and marriage separately. Disclaimer: I do not believe you can have one without the other. You cannot marry someone you do not love. The reason they are separate on my list, I think you can experience love for someone and end up not marrying them, because even then you are growing as a relational person and that can lead you to and prepare you for the person God has set for you to marry. I do want to get married, while I am not the overly "lovey-dovey" type, that is a part of my dream future. I pray for the man God has for me all the time. But as for this, I am extremely patient. It is NOT my time.

7. I love to plan and organize. I get a thrill from the stress of pulling everything together by a deadline. I love seeing all the work I put into something end in something great. I love to plan get togethers, parties, and other events. I would love to do that again sometime soon.

8. I guess this is sort of cheating, a new experience really is an adventure. I just want to try something new, whether it be a hobby, activity, group, or life milestone. No one suggest sky diving, I refuse to try that one. (I guess I should not be picky....).

9. Before you assume I am depressed and do not laugh or even smile anymore, let me say, you are wrong. I just made the observation that I have not laughed as often as I used to or as hard as I used to. I can remember in high school laughing till I cried on nearly a daily basis. I miss that and I think laughing and having a good time is important to one's happiness!

10. This is the one goal on this list, or any list ever that I refuse to go without. This is the one goal and desire that I shape my life around and wish to truly motivate every decision and action with. While this is not the case 100% of the time, I hope to make it that way. I am called to make it that way. My God is the greatest thing in my life and the greatest thing that ever will be. He is the reason I am able to do anything to better my life, and only He can say whether 1-9 on the list are going to happen. And that is really the thing that this post is all about. I want for all these things to be a part of my life, but I do not have any say if these are in the plan He has for me. Only God knows. One thing I can do to make that "Ok" is to strengthen my faith and find comfort in that I do not need to worry about whether an adventure is in His plan or not, because my God has my best interest at heart.

"Thank you God for taking care of me and my life. I need your powerful strength to trust in you plan for me, and comfort in you to keep worry away. You are the one who has made it possible for me to dream for these things, You are the one who has to power to bless me with them, or take them away. I wish to endure and grow in what you have in store. Amen."

Message from my Mirror

I am a fan of fashion, and looking good. Before all you male readers groan and leave the page... I am not going to discuss the latest trends in high-low skirts and sheer button-downs. As a matter of fact, this is a good post for those of you wishing to understand girls! I get asked this all the time, especially by guys. "Why do you WASTE so much time getting ready?", "Why do you feel the need to dress up so much?" and "Who are you trying to impress?". I am not offended by these, because we cannot expect you to completely understand, it really is a girl thing. (usually). Well I can simply answer these questions. While there are girls who are trying to impress people and attract guys (not a good plan if you are using your clothes or lack-there-of rather than your personality), and those who are trying to impress each other, (also ridiculous, but hard to avoid), many girls dress for themselves. Girls like to feel good about themselves, and absolutely love to feel confident, just as guys do. Unfortunately for us, being good at a video game, winning a sports event, or being able to bench a certain amount does not always cut it for us. For me, looking good and piecing together just the right outfit and doing my hair to look good is what gives me confidence. Sure, I do find confidence in bigger things; I find it in school work, my talent, and especially my God. Looking good is more of a confidence for the day, a short term confidence. For me, I feel better when I look better. Fashion also provides other things for me: A creative outlet, a hobby, and some fun! Trying out new trends and styles is fun and opens new doors for people, and it is fun to piece together a new outfit and make something of a bunch of random clothing items and accessories. So now, before you assume a girl is dressed a certain way to impress others or attract attention, think again she could be exercising her creative side, or boosting her confidence.

The Little Things

Why is it, for me at least, that the little things are what set me off. It seems like small insignificant details can change my mind, or little happenings can change my mood. One example is my hair... I can be having a great day, but if I get frustrated with my hair it can have a pretty big effect on my mood. I can be having a bad day, and I (USUALLY) just calmly try my best to deal with it, but when it comes to my hair, I have thrown tantrums like a 3-year-old and even cried out of frustration. I am actually a little embarrassed to admit that, but it just caught my attention. That is only one example, but it shows up in many areas.
I have a few theoretical explanations about this quirk. One of them, a bit more specific to myself, is my perfectionist side. I pay a lot of attention to details and want every part of something to be equally good, so little things might bother me a bit more than overall issues. Another possible explanation is that little things take us by surprise. This idea explains small things having negative effects on us, as well as positive. We expect the big things to happen, and we usually know what to expect in whether they are good or bad. We do not take the, sometimes subconscious, steps to prepare ourselves for the outcomes of little things in the way we do the big things. In a day where you have a performance, you are so focused on doing well on that one thing that having a bad hair day can set you off, or a simple compliment on your outfit can boost your day.

Maybe this effect small happenings and details have on us is why we are told to "Appreciate the little things".